


The Evil Log Book of Kokichi Ouma (A.K.A His Diary)

by HW_MITYO



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2019-07-23 13:53:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16160249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HW_MITYO/pseuds/HW_MITYO
Summary: This Log Book belongs to the one and only supreme ruler Kokichi Oma, do NOT under any circumstances read the context of this log book. No matter how many times the owner lost it, misplace it, gets stolen by his friends, or even lets you read it. Some things are better kept in secret.





	1. September 2018

**Author's Note:**

> Well this is a random idea I just thought of. Hopefully you guys will like it

**_September 1_ **

_Kaede has given me this diary in order to ‘vent my inner malice’ to which I replied by pointing out her gaining weight. She doesn’t respond to it and instead gave me a pen to start writing, I don’t know what to write in this stupid thing anyway. It’s very boring and I can perfectly express my thoughts to something else other than just writing on a piece of paper._

* * *

**_September 2_ **

_Shuuichi Saihara Sighting #1_

_It’s strange that the detective has skipped today’s session of listening to MCR in the boy’s bathroom. It worries me that my beloved might be getting influenced by my horrible classmates, needless to say I have to make sure my future husband is still the same man as the day I fell in love with him, and I know the perfect plan to do it._

* * *

**_September 3_ **

_Rantaro is such an asshole. Apparently it is not a good idea to spray paint Shuuichi’s locker black and expect a marriage proposal._

* * *

**_September 4_ **

_I fucking hate Jin Kirigiri, not only did I not receive a wedding proposal from my beloved Shuuichi but I also got sent to detention, get told by Shuuichi to ‘leave me’ and have a smug looking Rantaro from the window. I don’t care how calm he looks, I can already feel the smugness coming off those eyes of his._

* * *

**_September 5_ **

_I played a prank on the robot today. Not really minding Kaede, Kaito and Maki’s scolding at me. They are just jealous that I get the robot’s attention and not theirs. Honestly if they want Ki-boy’s attention, all they gotta do is try to plug their charger on his crotch._

* * *

**_September 6_ **

_Kirumom lectured me today, she says it is immoral to slap Miu on the face and blame it on seizure._

* * *

**_September 7_ **

_DICE just pulled of another heist, no big deal really. We’re amazing pranksters after all. Sometimes I don’t even know any other organization that can do better than DICE can._

* * *

**_September 8_ **

_HELLO MY NAME COCKICHI OMA AND I LOVE TO GOBBLE COCKS IN MY MOUTH BECAUSE IT’S SO YUMMY WUMMY! I WANT TO GET FUCKED SO BADLY I’M JUST BEGGING FOR IT!_

* * *

**_Septermber 9_ **

_The slut stole my diary, fucking used condom. I should remove her vibrator collection later so that she’ll realize not to mess with the supreme ruler of this school._

* * *

**_September 10_ **

_I FUCKING HATE YOU COCKICHI! GIVE ME THE FUCK BACK MY VIBRATORS!  - Miu_

_I have no idea what you’re talking about. Don’t write in my log book bitch. - Kokichi_

_I’LL WRITE WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT YOU SHITSTAIN GREMLIN! KAEDE IS A WHORE, SHUUICHI IS A EUNUCH, KAITO DREAMS OF DIAPERS  - Miu_

_Miu it is rude to steal someone else’s diary and write on it. Plus I’m not a whore - Kaede_

_I’m just gonna let you do what you want to believe Miu, I don’t have the energy to tell you how much wrong you are – Shuuichi_

_FUCK ALL OF YOU! – Miu_

_ALL OF YOU GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY LOG BOOK! - Kokichi_

_*Cough* Diary – Hoshi_

* * *

**_September 11_ **

_It’s annoying that my diary-_

_Heh – Hoshi_

_FUCK OFF HOSHI I MEANT LOG BOOK!_

_You can’t erase permanent ink. – Hoshi_

_FUCK!_

* * *

**_September 12_ **

_Angie decided that all of us needed to have some sort of sculpture on our desk because ‘it will give Atua a specific blessing for each and every one’. Of course I toss it out the window the moment it landed on my table, also I gave Miu back her vibrators. I mean I know she was a crybaby when bullied but I didn’t think she would actually kneel down and beg._

* * *

**_September 14_ **

_I removed the page from yesterday because Rantaro took my diary and gave it to Korekiyo. I don’t know what the fuck was that survivor thinking but I don’t even want to read what Korekiyo wrote in that page._

_I’ll be happy to tell you in person. – Rantaro_

_Bitch please, I’m not that curious._

* * *

**_September 15_ **

_Gonta has to write in this diary because Kokichi still hasn’t recovered from puking after what Rantaro said to him. Gonta doesn’t know what Rantaro said, but Gonta hopes Kokichi will be okay._

* * *

**_Septermber 17_ **

_Again, had to rip off another page. Maki decided to help Yumeno’s sleeping by putting my Diary as a pillow, now my 16 th page is covered in magician drool._

_Kinky. – Rantaro_

_Again, your fault for suggesting Maki to do it! I will fucking destroy you._

* * *

**_September 18_ **

_So me and the squad did our push-ups today._

_My sidekick got to a hundred push ups but he still fainted, good thing Maki-roll manages to pump two hundred and carry Shuuichi to the infirmary! – Kaito_

_GOD DAMMIT RANTARO, STOP GIVING EVERYONE MY DIARY!_

_Heh – Hoshi_

_LOG BOOK! I MEANT LOG BOOK!_

* * *

**_September 19_ **

_I decided to prank all of them. Nobody expected laxatives on the lemonades that I served for them now I’m all alone in the classroom snickering at their idiocy._

_Fuck you, I shall never look at Lemonade the same way ever again! – Kaito_

_You will die a horrible, horrible death – Maki_

_You’re gonna get punished for this – Kaede_

_Okay I was a bit sorry for giving your diary to someone else, but now I feel no mercy to you – Rantaro_

_GONTA NEEDS TOILET PAPER! – Gonta_

_GONTA NO! – Everyone_

* * *

**_September 20_ **

_Shuuichi bought chocolates at the mall today, I mean I prefer Ferrero Rocher more than Hershey’s but whatever my beloved brings I will eat it. I can’t wait._

* * *

**_September 21_ **

_THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER, APPARENTLY HE ASKED KAEDE OUT. THE PIG TITS DOESN’T EVEN HAVE BEAUTY COMPARED TO ME. WHAT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON’T?! ALL SHE HAS IS TWO LARGE BOUNDS OF FAT IN HER CHEST, WELL FUCK THAT!_

_WHY DOES BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO BAD PEOPLE, THAT’S IT I’M COMMITTING SUPUKKU TOMORROW AT SCHOOL_

* * *

**_September 22_ **

_Apparently I can’t kill myself or else Maki will kill me so I’m in a bit of a predicament. But why did Kaede have to say yes to Shuuichi. Didn’t I already told everyone Shuuichi’s mine? I basically placed my rights and territory to him, why the fuck is Kaede stealing my man._

_Because nobody took you seriously – Hoshi_

_Good job Hoshi, you made him cry again – Maki_

_Heh – Hoshi_

* * *

**_September 23_ **

_It was a good thing Rantaro and Korekiyo took me with them on a trip to a coffee shop. I needed a lot of drinks to get rid of my mind on Shuuichi, but then the asshat Rantaro had to order Dark Mocha._

_What’s wrong about Dark Mocha? – Rantaro_

_Dark…Shuuichi…My Emo boyfriend gone by the hands of that vixen!!!!!!!_

* * *

**_September 24_ **

_I don’t want to go to school today, no matter how much Kiibo is yelling at my window I am not answering. I already threw a can of oil at him and a porn magazine to leave me alone, hopefully it’ll be a good trade._

* * *

**_September 25_ **

_Gonta carried me to school against my will. He’s a sexual deviant that’s what I say._

_Hey, Kokichi you went to the bathroom and I just wanted to ask if you’re okay? You’ve been rather weird lately – Shuuichi._

_WELP THINGS COULD HAVE NOT BEEN BETTER! SHUUICHI REALLY DOES LOVE ME!_

_Omfg – Kirumi_

* * *

**_September 26_ **

_I understand now, him and Kaede dating is just a cover up while me and Shuuichi are distant lovers. Brilliant as expected for my husband._

_You do know he’s just asking as a friend right? – Tsumugi_

_Who the fuck are you?_

_JESUS DOES ANYONE EVEN NOTICE ME?! – Tsumugi_

_Who?_

* * *

**_September 27_ **

_Rantaro crossed the line, I don’t care that he spread my diary around, or even pulled justified pranks on me, but holding me back while Shuuichi gives a peck to Kaede’s lips. That is where I crossed the line, I could have stopped them if it weren’t for that meddling adventurer!_

_Aroo? – Rantaro_

_Fuck you._

* * *

**_September 28_ **

_I decided to put a lock on my diary, the privacy of this is getting on my nerves. I got the only key and no one will be able to write it. Suck on that V3 classmates!_

_Thanks for the lock picking lessons Kokichi! – Himiko_

_Lol easy – Kaito_

* * *

**_September 29_ **

_I enhanced my security to even more locks as well as some techno lasers that alarms when it is touched thanks to the slut, digital password as well as a booby trap if someone tries to pick the lock! Now let’s see if anyone can get past this!_

_You know, it’s easy to get past it when your password for the diary is “Supreme Sexy Overlord” – Tenko_

_FUCK!_

* * *

**_September 30_ **

_I’ve hidden my diary in the a top secret vault exclusive for DICE members, along with more traps, finger scans, voice command, alarms, buzzers and the classic trip wire. Try and get through that fuckers! Plus it’s not hidden in a place that none of my classmates knows._

_No matter how hard you try, you cannot deter the will of Atua – Angie_

_I give up._


	2. October is a time for messed up scary things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh My God Ten Comments on the first day as well as 30 kudos on the first day?! I didn't know this would turn out so well, Anyways here's the next chapter cause I spent an entire ride home on a bus drinking Pepsi, now I call myself the Pepsi Man.

**_October 1_ **

_Shuuichi Sighting # 2_

_I’ve been camouflaged in this restaurant to spy on Shuuichi and Kaede’s date, it’s getting sickening whenever those two laugh at the same time. But I know Shuichi, he’s only laughing at Kaede’s jokes because she makes the worst jokes ever! Brb log book, I gotta go to the supreme ruler’s room._

 

_Dear Kokichi, stop stalking me and Shuichi or else I’ll cut you – Kaede_

 

_Okay. Now that Kaede has said that in pink permanent marker ink I shall be taking my leave. I never even liked this restaurant, two out of five, even if it is KFC._

 

* * *

**_October 2_ **

_My research for the genetic member of K1-B0 has come to a stop today. I was so close into figuring out if he has a dick or not but alas fate seems to find its way to fuck me in the arse. Kiibo was being moody today, so I simply asked if he was on his period. He just ran away crying like a bitch!_

 

_It’s rude to ask a robot if they are on their period. – Tsumugi_

 

_Says the weeb who asks everyone’s chest sizes on day one_

 

_Fair – Tsumugi_

 

* * *

**_October 3_ **

_The school is having a Halloween party planned on the 25_ _th_ _, I really don’t want to go ,after that fiasco involving us and some booze. I mean, would they honestly invite Angie again after displaying a statue of Jin Kirigiri naked with his arms spread?_

 

_Atua says that it was a perfect work of art – Angie_

 

_I agree with you Angie, maybe you should try that on his daughter instead!_

 

* * *

**_October 4_ **

_I visited Rantaro’s house today. Since the playboy has a lot of stuff to do, I sometimes tutor his little sisters. Honestly it's torture, the Amami family is the worst family, full of ungrateful brats and dumb idiots who can’t even do Math - and the pay is not good either! Seriously, I should be humbly thanked for even giving them my attention!_

 

_You’re just sad because I don’t want you and my sisters having another sleepover again – Rantaro_

 

_THEY LOVE ME MORE THAN YOU!_

 

_Then stop crying in our garden and go home already – Rantaro_

 

* * *

**_October 5_ **

_I made Miu cry again._

 

_Kaede was scolding me about being considerate towards other peoples’ feelings. Bitch doesn’t know the pain I go through, even a sane person would freak out if Miu’s mail gets accidentally delivered to their home._

 

_Seriously, I never ordered a horse sized dildo with spikes before._

 

* * *

**_October 6_ **

_Ouma-Kun, what is a Twink? – Gonta_

 

_It’s what your friend Kaito is._

 

_SHUT THE FUCK UP KOKICHI! - Kaito_

 

_Then Gonta wants to be like Kaito! – Gonta_

 

_No you don’t Gonta – Kaito_

 

_No Denial? – Rantaro_

 

_Fuck you Rantaro, fuck you. – Kaito_

 

* * *

**_October 7_ **

_Today’s dessert will be chocolate mousse – Kirumi_

 

_Why are you announcing it here mom?_

 

_Because everyone will know – Kirumi_

 

_Oh that sounds lovely! – Kaede_

 

_Nice! – Shuuichi, also known as Kaede’s boyfriend._

 

_Cool. – Rantaro_

 

_Alright – Hoshi_

 

_FUCK YEAH! – Kaito_

 

_BITCH YOU THE BEST! – Miu_

 

_Nyeeeeh – Himiko_

 

_Atua bless you – Angie_

 

_Awesome! – Tsumugi_

 

_Great, Tenko is starving! - Tenko_

 

_U w U – Korekiyo_

 

_Thank you Tojo-san! – Kiibo_

 

_Gonta is excited! – Gonta_

 

_WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING TO MY DIARY?! THIS IS NOT A PUBLIC FORUM!_

 

_Save me a slice Kirumi, I’ll be a bit late. – Maki_

 

_STAY THE FUCK AWAY!_

 

* * *

**_October 8_ **

_I have decided to place my vengeance upon all these foolish mortals. It’s very easy to prank Kaito. I actually did it today without even breaking a sweat._

 

_I’ll give you props on this one, what you did was hilarious – Shuuichi_

 

_Thank you Shuuichi <3 _

 

_I didn’t know Barney the Purple Dinosaur was our classmate. – Hoshi_

 

_LOL – Tsumugi_

 

* * *

**_October 9_ **

_Me and Himiko had a very strange encounter today. Good thing we managed to hide in the lockers thanks to our physique, otherwise we would be hearing another lecture on the prophet Komaeda and his preaching about the Lord and Savior._

 

* * *

**_October 10_ **

_Excuse me sir, have you heard today’s gospel from our lord and savior Hope?_

 

* * *

**_October 11_ **

_After me and Gonta took back my Log book from those thieving bastards from the other class, I have decided to give up on my attempts to fortify this diary. If the guy who gets a boner when someone says Hope then it’s ob-_

 

* * *

**_October 12_ **

_I was only 9 years old_ _,_ _I loved Hope so much, I had all the gospel and diaries of every hopeful individual._ _I pray to Hope every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given_ _"Hope is love" I say; "Hope is life"_ _My friend Hinata hears me and calls me a faggot_ _,_ _I know he’s just jealous of my devotion for Hope,_ _I call him a cunt,_ _He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep._

 

_I'm crying now, and my face hurts_ _,_ _I lay in bed and it's really cold_ _._ _Suddenly, a warmth moves towards me_ _._ _It's Hope, I am so happy_ _. He_ _whispers into my ear, "I will cure your despair."_ _He grabs me with his powerful hope bagel hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees_

 

_I'm ready_

 

_I spread my ass-cheeks for Hope_ _,_ _He penetrates my butthole_ _._ _It hurts so much but I do it for Hope_

_I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water_ _._ _I push against his force_ _._ _I want to please Hope_

_He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love_ _, but Hinata_ _walks in_

 

_Hope looks him straight in the eyes and says "Sore wa Chigao yo!"_ _Hope leaves through my window._

 

_Hope is love. Hope is life. - Nagito Komaeda_

 

* * *

**_October 13_ **

_After beating the Hope fanatic to a bloody pulp with a spoon I claimed back my diary, I could have just ripped that poem he made because it’s creepy and disgusting as fuck, but there’s something about his poetry that made me enamored with it._

 

_Admit it, deep down inside you’re the same level of disgusting as him – Tenko_

 

_It’s almost as if you treat every single male like they have AIDS – Proud Male Kokichi_

 

_They do! – Tenko who does not have AIDS_

 

_Fucking idiot – Kokichi_

 

* * *

**_October 14_ **

_Starting this month I want to do something charitable every month, I know it’s silly but sometimes I get curious on what it’s like at the other side. So at evening, I knocked on Maki’s room while she was tutoring Kaito and placed down two cans of chocolate body paint, they’ll love it I’m sure._

 

_Very fucking funny Kokichi, you don’t see me putting chocolate body paint cans for you ond Shuuichi… OH wait that’s right, he’s with someone else uwu - Maki_

 

_BUUUURRRRNNNNNEEEEEDDDDD – Kaito_

 

* * *

**_October 15_ **

_I revoke my statement on doing something good every month._

 

_Good, cause you suck at it. – Maki_

 

_CAN YOU STOP PINNING ME DOWN AND WRITING YOUR NASTY REMARK ON MY DIARY!?_

 

* * *

**_October 16_ **

_I got called to the principal’s office today and it was so very funny, Jin Kirigiri was furious as heck! He was red as a tomato that I had to call him Elmo the monster. As it turns out, Angie FOLLOWED my advice and placed a statue of Jin’s naked daughter in front of the whole school. Hilarious!_

 

* * *

**_October 17_ **

_As punishment for that statue, me and Angie have to decorate the entire sixth floor for the upcoming Halloween party. Angie and I don’t seem to mind, it's either that or help Gonta find insects for his stupid collection._

 

* * *

**_October 18_ **

_Okay everyone I got an announcement, tomorrow everyone should think of a good costume for what one of us is going to wear and we’ll place it in a box so we get random costume recommendations! – Kaede_

 

_Again, this is not a public forum Kaede._

 

_I know. But you never listen to me when I speak in front – Kaede_

 

_Fair point, it’s hard to concentrate and listen to your voice when there’s two blobs of fat hanging on your chest._

 

_Not cool Kokichi, don’t talk to my girlfriend that way. She has the best boobs ever. – Shuuichi._

 

_Did you just say a minor’s boobs are the best?_

 

_Ummm - Shuuichi_

 

_RING RING!!!! HELLO FBI I WOULD LIKE TO REPORT SHUUICHI SAIHARA!_

 

_Yes, this is the FBI we are on our way – Rantaro_

 

_DON’T PLAY AROUND RANTARO, SHE’S MY GIRLFRIEND! - Not a pedophile Shuuichi_

 

_Resisting arrest! I need back-up! – Rantaro_

 

_We’re coming soon! STAY STRONG SOLDIER! – Kiibo_

 

_FML – Shuuichi_

 

* * *

**_October 19_ **

_Miu wanted me to try and test this new invention called ‘The Ahegao machine’. She told me that it’ll make me dream of Shuuichi in the most lewd way possible. To that I say nay, Shuuichi is lewd enough for me, she just doesn’t know it._

 

* * *

**_October 20_ **

_So I already have my costume that I picked from the box and I was not happy at all, everyone refused to tell anyone what their costume is so I guess the revelation will be at the 25_ _th_ _. Honestly my classmates can be quite evil sometimes. Given my costume it can come from anyone except Gonta._

 

* * *

**_October 21_ **

_So Jin Kirigiri said that me and Angie should make the place more horrifying. I don’t really understand that diva, at first he was fuming because he didn’t like Angie’s statue of him even though she did it to respect him, next is a statue of her daughter to respect her which he also didn’t like, and now he’s crying because every corner, every hallways, ceilings, corners and lockers are now completely covered with Nagito Komaeda’s hopegasms pictures._

 

_Good work Kokichi! – Angie_

 

_Thank you Angie, even I get chills just by walking on the sixth floor._

 

_The Headmaster hasn’t left the hallway floor and is still crying, what did you two do? -Kirumi_

 

_We just did what he asked us to._

 

* * *

**_October 22_ **

_The Komaeda floor was a huge success, everyone refused to go to that floor and only the brave souls of Korekiyo, Teruteru, Hifumi and for some reason Rantaro to be able to go there without feeling anything. Therefore I placed a pay toll to whoever wants to visit the Komaeda floor, five bucks per entrance._

 

_WTF, what if I gotta go to the seventh floor and I have to cross the sixth floor? – Shuuichi_

 

_You will still pay me, haven’t you seen the effort me and Angie put in that floor?!_

 

_I’m legit saying this to anyone, Kokichi’s serious I just paid five bucks – Tsumugi_

 

_I’m trapped on the eighth floor! Maki-roll please lend me 2 bucks! – Kaito_

 

_*Seen* - Maki_

 

* * *

**_October 23_ **

_Jin has recovered from his crying, he paid me five bucks to get down and told me that after the party me and Angie must remove what we just did. Seems like a good idea to be honest, my only regular customer is Teruteru._

 

* * *

**_October 24_ **

_Not knowing how to fashion myself for tomorrow’s party I sought a professional, apparently Rantaro and Junko are the masters of fashion. Junko and I get along well, we both hate the world, we both love despair, and we both know Rantaro’s ass is a sacred jewel and it belongs to us._

 

_What was that about my what? – Rantaro_

 

_SHUT IT Avocado boy, anyways how does orange look on Kokichi? – Junko_

 

_Terrible. I think the perfect color is g- Hey wait a minute!_

 

_LOL, LMAO, ROFL – Junko_

 

_You’ve been hanging out with Chiaki haven’t you? – Rantaro_

 

_Maaaaybe – Junko_

 

* * *

**_October 25_ **

_Kaede is dressed as a hooker. How fitting. Miu has yet to stop laughing._

 

_Shuuichi is dressed as Bart Simpson, it doesn’t look good on him, even if he colored his skin yellow._

 

_Kaito looks adorable as Barney the Purple Dinosaur, he should keep that look._

 

_Maki is dressed up as a yellow power ranger, my bet is that Himiko randomly picked one of the things she watches on TV._

 

_Kirumi looks smoking hot as a pirate._

 

_Rantaro is dressed up as me, not funny Kaede._

 

_Hoshi is dressed up as a duck. It turns out that Rantaro was the one who suggested it and it looks so adorable on him, as if Rantaro knew…._

 

_Korekiyo is going as a 60’s person. The Afro is not convincing._

 

_Angie and Himiko are luckily paired as Spongebob and Patrick, btw Himiko is Patrick, how funny it is that they got the costumes they wrote._

 

_Tsumugi got herself as Tarzan, but never underestimate a cosplayer. Last year she was forced to dress as a sexy Freddy Fazbear and she did not disappoint._

 

_Kiibo is dressed as the terminator, Miu helped with the voice lines._

 

_Miu is dressed as a priest, she doesn’t pull it off well._

 

_Tenko is dressed up as Sherlock Holmes, again Shuuichi, I love you but you got to stop putting that in the suggestion box._

 

_I’m dressed up as Leonardo, no not the artist but the ninja turtle. I will exact my revenge on Miu as soon as this is over._

 

_Everyone seems to not like their costume. Gonta is the only exception, he gets to cosplay as Satan._

 

* * *

**_October 26_ **

_The Party was great and to be honest I don’t remember most of it._

 

_We found you wasted in the Komaeda room with Himiko. I’m calling the cops – Rantaro_

 

_WAIT WHAT?! I woke up in the Infirmary you bitch!_

 

_I’ll send you the photo. – Rantaro_

 

_Bitch you’re joking right?!_

 

* * *

**_October 27_ **

_I’m a pedophile._

 

* * *

**_October 28_ **

_Angie is concerned for Kokichi, he seems to not get over that picture of him and Himiko cuddling on the Komaeda floor. When the headmaster wanted us to remove the Komaeda floor, Kokichi made no insults or anything and it was pretty weird, he just stroked Jin's hair and pecked his cheek then starts removing the Komaeda pictures._

 

_TENKO WILL DESTROY YOU KOKICHI! – Tenko_

 

_Oh dear Atua have mercy, Tenko has flipped Kokichi into the pile of crumpled Komaeda pictures we’ve taken down – Angie_

 

* * *

**_October 29_ **

_Do you really have to show that picture Rantaro? – Kaede_

 

_It was either me or Himiko – Rantaro_

 

_She has one?! – Kaede_

 

_Yup. Don’t worry, nothing lewd happened, I can promise you that because I looked into the CCTV – Rantaro_

 

_I wasn’t thinking that! – Kaede_

 

_Oh really? – Rantaro_

 

_Stop teasing my girlfriend Rantaro – Shuuichi_

 

_I’ll stop teasing YOUR girlfriend Shuuichi when you stop waking up in the Janitor’s closet naked every party! – Rantaro_

 

_IS THIS WHY YOU ALWAYS PREFER TO BE SOBER?! – Shuuichi_

 

* * *

**_October 30_ **

_My diary has been violated by a cult artist, a lesbo-maniac, a closet pervert, the biggest douchebag of the century and my husband. I’ve moved on, Himiko told me everything. At the party Tenko and Angie got lost so I accompanied her, I have no idea why I just did that but seeing her alone doesn’t really feel right in my mind._

 

_SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS- Tsumugi_

 

_Tsumugi what’s wrong? – Kokichi_

 

_SSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH – Tsumugi_

 

_Oh no… Don’t you dare! Bitch you do not!_

 

_SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPP – Tsumugi_

 

* * *

**_October 31_ **

_Great, this month ended with every one of my classmates shipping Oumeno. (Fuck you Tsumugi) Can’t they just ship SaiOuma instead?! Or Oumami, I get benefit for those two ships anyways! Plus Himiko’s not been attending school lately, so there’s that but seriously SHIP SAIOUMA YOU RETARDS_

 

_You can’t hide, what’s inside. – Rantaro_

 

_GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY DIARY!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos and Recommendations are deeply appreciated!!!


	3. November is a time for Famine and Cosplay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yup. back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I was dead? Don't make me laugh HA!

**_November 1_ **

_So Kaede gave me this stupid diary to rant about my “inner self”. I don’t know what the fuck she’s talking about? Why would a genius bombshell, playboy magazine top model 2019 need to vent her frustrations and deep feelings on some stupid diary?!_

* * *

**_November 2_ **

_I have no fucking clue on what the fuck am I supposed to write, today we have chemistry classes and I got paired up with plain blue haired bitchmugi, I swear to God her tits are even bigger than mine and it makes me very upset. Now that I think about it, I didn’t insult Tsumugi about her cow udders today, could this diary mean something?_

_Atua – Angie._

_The fuck you talking about? – Miu_

_It’s Atua. Not God. God is dead. Only Atua reigns supreme. – Angie_

_GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY DIARY! – Miu_

_“Your Diary”? – Korekiyo_

_Shut up three nipples. I hate you too – Miu_

* * *

**_November 3_ **

_For some reason, Kokichi keeps crying since yesterday. Like for fucks sake we haven’t done any fucking thing yet and the baby is crying because he lost his diary!_

_Poor thing – Maki_

_I KNOW RIGHT?! – Miu_

* * *

**_November 4_ **

_After Kaede gloriously returned the diary to its original owner, which is me. Miu hasn’t stopped crying when Kaede yanked it out of her hands. I always knew fake crying would break our little class representative hahahahaha!_

_You pee’d in happiness when she gave it to you. – Tsumugi_

_SHUT UP LET ME HAVE THIS! – Kokichi_

* * *

**_November 5_ **

_Kirumi told us she’ll be leaving to her country today, not that I really care to be honest. Why would she announce it with such great concern, what are we her children?_

_First of all yes. Second, I won’t be making any meals for you all so you guys will either have to bring your own boxed lunches or go to the cafeteria. I’ll be back after a week so please don’t make a mess of our classroom. – Kirumi_

_THIS IS BAD! – Kaede_

_Whoa, Kaede calm down. Why are you panicking? – Rantaro_

_BECAUSE WE’VE BEEN EATING KIRUMOM’S FOOD EVERY LUNCH, HOW WOULD WE SURVIVE?! – KaEdE_

_Holy shit, the bitch is right?! – Miu_

_WE’RE DOOMED! – Angie_

_WE’LL STARVE – Shuuichi_

_This does not affect me much - Kiibo_

_What should we do?! – Kaito_

_We should join her on her trip! – Maki_

_We should cut classes and sleep! – Himiko_

_We should dig a moat! – Korekiyo_

_We should take Kriumi’s country and PUSH it near our school! – Gonta_

_Out of all the ideas you’ve spewed out in my diary. Korekiyo makes no sense whatsoever. – Kokichi_

_Weirdo. – Tenko_

_T_T - Korekiyo_

* * *

**_November 6_ **

_With Kirumi leaving, Kaede decided that for the remaining five days of her absence we should all contribute something to lunch. She paired us all up so that everyday two of us will be serving food to the rest._

_I think it’s a great idea – Shuuichi_

_*Cough* Suck-up – Tsumugi_

_I HATE IT – Miu_

_Bitch you only hate it cause Kaede doesn’t trust you on food ever! Luckily she trusts me!_

_I FUCKING HATE YOU KOKICHI! – Miu_

* * *

**_November 7_ **

_First day was Kaede and Shuuichi, the power couple gave us all salads and fruits for lunch. As much as I love eating healthy foods, this is stupid because there isn’t a single meat and everyone hates it._

_That’s not true Kokichi, everyone loved that idea! – Kaede_

_No one loved the idea Kaede, even your boyfriend didn’t finish his plate. – Kokichi_

_S-Shuuichi?! – Kaede_

_I CAN EXPLAIN – Shuuichi_

_:popcorn: - Tsumugi_

_Tsumugi I refrain you from enjoying this – Kaede_

_Make me. – Tsumugi_

* * *

**_November 8_ **

_Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, it was Kaito and Gonta’s turn. Gonta didn’t know what to get for us so he let Kaito do the food picking. Turns out the Astro-idiot decided to distribute us food on what astronauts eat! It’s tasty but come on?! SPINACH ON A TUBE?!_

_It’s healthy – Kaito_

_WE’RENOT DYING! – Kokichi_

_I disagree Kokichi, Kaito’s tube lunches were delicious – Rantaro_

_THANK YOU! – Kaito_

_Kaito. He was absent today – Kiibo_

_TRAITOR! – Kaito_

_UwU – Rantaro_

* * *

**_November 9_ **

_Himiko and Angie are up. As expected we got juice boxes, cookies, and other childish shit those two can dish out. It was embarrassing when Hinata-kun from higher class came to borrow some chairs and saw us all sipping juice boxes._

_MMMMM Apple! – Kaede_

_YOU HAVE NO SHAME KAEDE! – Kokichi_

* * *

**_November 10_ **

_Shuuichi Sighting #3_

_He and Kaede are having a salad date. I hate when my beloved gets punished but it is what it is. He did not side with me when I told him Kaede’s plan was horrible and now he is suffering, eating salad all day muahahahaha suffer for not choosing me Shuuichi!_

_*And here we see the gallant Horse Kokichi, a rare animal breed, stalking its mate like its destined they will end up together. Unfortunately for the beast, he is too small and his pee-pee is out of control* - Rantaro_

_WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM!? – Kokichi_

* * *

**_November 11_ **

_I received a letter from Himiko today. Who the fuck gives letters today, use emails for fuck sake! BE ADVANCE LIKE US. Anyways this will be a great sample paper for my typewriter._

* * *

**_November 12_ **

Back to class and I miss Kirumi already. I know she cares for each and everyone one of us but when you pair up Korekiyo and Hoshi and made THEM the ones designated to bring food for today. You really are out of your mind. BECAUSE GONTA HASN’T STOPPED CRYING!

What’s wrong with exotic foods? Thought I’d mixed it up a little – Korekiyo

I regret leaving the food responsibility to you – Hoshi

I still have grasshopper leg stuck on my teeth – Himiko

EWW GROSS! – Tsumugi

Kiyo, though I appreciate the path you’ve chosen. But this is the wrong path for our group lunch. If you’ll excuse me I’ll get my stomach pumped – Shuuichi

Guys don’t be rude. In fact, I think it tasted great once you disregard the legs and such. 10/10 Kiyo, would eat another one of your exotic foods again! – Rantaro

Thank you Rantaro – Korekiyo

HE’S ABSENT AGAIN! – Kiibo

I should use this tactic. – Kokichi

* * *

**_November 13_ **

_I fucking hate Rantaro Amami with every fibre of my being._

_Hey Kokichi, so I know you’ve decided to be absent to not taste what me and Maki have in store for you guys but I tried to save you some pizzas and coke. Sadly everyone was so hungry I couldn’t save you a slice. Terribly sorry – Rantaro_

**_EVERY F I B R E OF MY BEING! -_ ** _Kokichi_

* * *

**_November 14_ **

_I fucking love Rantaro Amami with every fibre of my being._

_UwU – Rantaro_

_What happened? – Kaede_

_He called me late at night and asked me to help him pick-up someone. I plan on killing him but it turns out Rantaro is picking up Kirumi and it also turns out her family is there so they treated me and Taro some of the best high-class fancy food you could ever imagine! I never eaten so much lobster! – Kokichi_

_Wait, Taro picked up Kirumi?? – Kaede_

_Is there a problem? – Rantaro_

_ARE YOU GUYS A THING NOW?! – Tsumugi_

_Everyone please. – Kirumi_

* * *

**_November 15_ **

_THIS DAY JUST GOT EVEN BETTER. TO WELCOME KIRUMI BACK, WE ALL HUGGED HER AND SHE TOOK US TO HER HOME AND TREATED US TO ANOTHER EAT ALL YOU CAN BUFFET. I HAVE NEVER SEEN EVERYONE LOOK SO HAPPY, NEVER THOUGHT THE JOY OF SEEING DELICIOUS FOOD WOULD BRING ME SO MUCH TEARS OF JOY._

_I’m so full! Best. Day. Ever. – Shuuichi_

_So much chocolate… - Tsumugi_

_Gonta has never eaten so much. – Gonta_

_I can now die happy – Kaito_

_Thank you Kirumom! – Himiko_

_You’re welcome <3 – Kirumi_

_KIRUMI USING EMOTICONS?! – Tenko_

_It’s the dawn of a new era bitches! – Miu_

_I thought her that! – Kokichi_

_Huwaaaaaaaaaaa?! – Shuuichi_

_Yes. When me, Rantaro and Kokichi were having a morning breakfast. – Kirumi_

_Did I forgot to mention that we also slept at Kirumi’s bed! – Kokichi_

_You say what now?! – Maki_

_WRONG! I meant we slept at her house! HER HOUSE! – Kokichi_

_Suspicious – Shuuichi_

_Shut up Shuuichi, I love you but your bed is the only bed I’ll ever sleep on. – Kokichi_

_I called dibs already. – Kaede_

_< 3 – Shuuichi_

_< 3 – Kaede_

_GET A FUCKING ROOM! – Tsumugi_

* * *

**_November 16_ **

_So Kaede asks Kirumi if we could have a feast like that every month but Kirumi says she only does this to her birthday or a major event. Sad but that’s what happens. GOOD THING WE ALL GOT TAKE-OUTS!_

_My fridge is full – Shuuichi_

_Great minds think alike – Kokichi_

_Indeed we do Kokichi – Shuuichi_

_SO JEALOUS! – Kaito_

* * *

**_November 17_ **

_Me and Korekiyo walked to school today and when we entered the classroom we saw Hoshi wearing a cat costume while playing with some yarn as Tsumugi takes pictures._

_AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW – Kaede_

_Sending you pics right now bestie! – Tsumugi_

_< 3 <3 – Kaede_

_< 3 <3 - Tsumugi_

_Yo bi1tch gimme some! – Miu_

_Sending to you too Hoe! – Tsumugi_

_THANK YOU! – Miu_

_Ehem. – Kirumi_

_Already did it Mom! – Tsumugi_

_Appreciated – Kirumi_

_This is too adorable – Maki_

_KNEW YOU WOULD LIKE IT MAKI! – Tsumugi_

_UM HELLO! OWNER OF THE DIARY SPEAKING, CAN I HAVE SOME PICS TOO?! – Kokichi_

_No. – Tsumugi_

* * *

**_November 18_ **

_Me and Korekiyo walked to school today again and when we entered the classroom we saw Kaito in a bear mascot while Tsumugi takes pictures_

_AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW – Kaede_

_Sending to all you gals right now! – Tsumugi_

_WHY CAN’T US GUYS SEE IT! – Kokichi_

_Yeah, I wanna see it too tbh – Shuuichi_

_NO YOU WON’T! – Kaito_

* * *

**_November 19_ **

_Thanks to Hoshi sending everyone on the Kaito pic, us guys were laughing about it till we entered the classroom and saw Kiibo in a magical girl costume while Tsumugi takes pictures._

_LOL – Kaede_

_WHAT IS HAPPENING?! – Kokichi_

_I’m so ashamed. – Kiibo_

_I’m so horny – Miu_

_No one. Literally no one wanted to know that Miu – Kokichi_

* * *

**_November 20_ **

_After physics class, Gonta and Tsumugi comes back but this time Gonta is wearing a puppy costume! This reveal has turned Gonta into the MC Harem protagonist._

_He was so cute – Kaede_

_Even Tenko admits to this – Tenko_

_TSUMUGI! – Kokichi_

_Yesh? – Tsumugi_

_Are you planning to do this to all guys?! – Kokichi_

_Noooooo ; ) – Tsumugi_

_I like the fact that Kokichi just wrote the name ‘Tsumugi’ in all caps, leaves the room and comes back as he sees Tsumugi writing her reply – Shuuichi_

* * *

**_November 21_ **

_Tenko and Himiko are destined to be married – Tenko_

_Tenko. Everyone has done this ‘Writing in my diary while I’m not around’ very stealthy. You on the other hand are the opposite of stealth, you suck at stealth. Everytime you write on my diary I have to watch the burden of you scribbling your notes and comments on the paper where I express my feelings towards, not to mention what you write is nothing but insults and mockery – Kokichi_

_TENKO WILL SLAM YOU FOR HURTING HER PRIDE! – Tenko_

_Dude, WTF? – Kaito_

_I had to say it. She sucks at writing in my diary without me noticing. – Kokichi_

* * *

**_November 22_ **

_Kokichi gave me this diary. Or should I say it flew to me when Tenko slammed him today. What should I write?_

_._

_._

_._

_Penis. – Korekiyo_

* * *

**_November 23_ **

_This diary has become lewd. I feel unsafe now – Kaede_

_IT WAS JUST A DAY IN KOREKIYO’S HANDS! HOW IS THIS LEWD?! I’M NOT LEWD KAEDE – Kokichi_

_Too late. I’m kinkshamming you all – Kaede_

_Not me tho. – Shuuichi_

_GET A FUCKING ROOM – Tsumugi_

* * *

**_November 24_ **

_Me and Korekiyo entered to see Shuuichi in a butler costume. I don’t care how much a picture cost. I will buy it. I will frame it. I will share it to my future children about the days when my husband wears a butler costume._

_You’d go that far? – Angie_

_100 bucks – Tsumugi_

_DUDE DON’T DO IT! – Kiibo_

_Sold. No regrets. - Kokichi_

_Anyways, could I could get more Tsumugi? – Kaede_

_I could just be dress up in front of you Kaede. – Shuuichi (Teasing)_

_Oh my Atua YOU TWO ARE THE LEWD ONES! – Kaito_

_I’m kinkshamming Kaede – Kokichi_

* * *

**_November 25_ **

_I finally figured out why the guys are wearing clothes that Tsumugi wants them to wear while she takes pictures. Today I found Tsumugi paying a huge amount of cash to Korekiyo as he cosplays a samurai, it was cool and everyone loved Kiyo for that brief moment till they realized it was Kiyo._

_Ouch – Korekiyo_

_At least you got a few fangirls now – Kokichi._

_I want them to love the real me. – Korekiyo_

_No one will ever love the real you – Miu_

_Wow. Mean – Kaede_

* * *

**_November 26_ **

_I want ten copies. Different angles._

_I want a copy too - Hoshi_

_Okay – Tsumugi_

_I want 20 copies – Kaito_

_I want many copies – Korekiyo_

_Guys – Rantaro_

_I want 50 copies – Shuuichi_

_I want all the files downloaded in my hard drive – Kiibo_

_GUYS! – Rantaro_

_Done. Done. Done. Aaand sent! – Tsumugi (A very rich person now)_

_IT’S JUST ME SHIRTLESS! – Rantaro_

_We’re now gay because of you. Take responsibility – Gonta._

_LJFNVJKLKVA GONTA?! – Rantaro_

* * *

**_November 27_ **

_Rantaro is suspended. He sent lewd photos that got spread all around the school._

_HE’S FUCKING HOT – Junko_

_Not funny Junko – Rantaro_

_LOL, LMAO, ROFL – Junko_

_Who’s your friend Rantaro? – Kaede_

_His fashion buddy. Junko Enoshima A.K.A Tsumugi’s partner in the fashion business – Junko_

_Hey Tenko, does this affect you or anything?! – Kokichi_

* * *

**_November 28_ **

_No reply. I like where this is going – Kokichi_

* * *

**_November 29_ **

_I stepped on a lego brick today. It hurts so much that I cried to the pain. Whose great idea was it to bring lego bricks in school?!_

_Me. It’s my talent. Got a problem? – Maki_

_No-No MAM! – Kokichi_

_Whipped – Kaito_

* * *

**_November 30_ **

_For your information Kokichi, I am in no ways affected by pictures of sexy men. They are disgusting and revolting and all men are parasites so I have no idea why you would come to a conclusion that it affected me Kokichi because it hasn’t affected me at all. – Tenko Chabashira_

_You stopped talking in third person – Kokichi._

_….. – Tenko_

_You read sexy yaoi don’t you Tenko? - Kokichi_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it for me. Probably gonna make one soon but hope that it comes out sooner. Anyways PLS Don't forget to comment! I love reading your opinions. Also do suggest what type of scenario Kokichi and friends are gonna be doing, I could use some ideas. Later guys!


	4. December, why do you have to be like this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOF Yes. I manage to upload early than expected, its because I have no classes and I finished my internship. I will try to post January to June and catch up with the months if I can.

**_December 01_ **

**** _ Dear Diary, Today is such a super fabulous day I was like soooo happy when Shuuichi greeted me in the morning! It was totally fab, and I showed up my nails to Kaede which is so pretty and shiny! I don’t know what’s wrong with the way I write and the way I speak but I’m like sooooo totally confused about what happened to me! Lol! _

 

_ Holy Shit the voice modulator works! – Miu _

 

_ I’m like soooooo gonna kill you – Kokichi _

 

* * *

**_December 02_ **

**** _ ToDay HAS beEN suCh a WeIrd DaY. NoBOdy iS TaKing ME sErIOUsly?! I meaN, I oFTen MeSS arOuNd fRoM TiMe 2 TiME. BuT JuSt AsKiNG tHe TEACher AbOuT ThE eXplAnaTion tO thE QuadRatIC EqUatION aND tHEn EvErYoNe STarTEd LaUgHinG?! _

 

_ OH MY ATUA THAT WAS THE BEST ONE SO FAR – Kaito _

 

_ Thank you, Thank you! – Miu _

 

_ How’d you get him to swallow the modulator chip? – Tsumugi _

 

_ Let me guess. Panta Grade Soda? – Kaede _

 

_ Yes. – Miu _

 

_ GiVE mE bACk mY ORIGiNAl VoICe – Kokichi _

 

_ It’ll die down tomorrow don’t worry! – Miu _

 

* * *

**_December 03_ **

**** _    After the slutty pig embarrasses me for two days, I decided to exact my revenge. I don’t care if it’s the month of Christmas! I’m getting my revenge and I already persuaded Kiibo to help me. I also paid a hundred bucks to Tsumugi to distract the pig. _

 

_ NO! No bad pranks on this beautiful season! – Kaede _

 

_ Listen Kaede. I know you’re the most excited for Christmas but PLEASE let me have this. My sanity needs this so badly – Kokichi _

 

_ NO MEANS NO! – Kaede _

 

_ You’re not my mom! – Kokichi _

 

_ “Happy Birthday to me! SOMEONE SHOULD AT LEAST GREET ME!” - Himiko _

 

* * *

**_December 04_ **

**** _ Kaede has bought the Christmas decorations already with Shuuichi, it was considered one of their dates so I’m adding another number to the list of ways to torture Kaede for stealing my man. Anyways, with the help of Kiibo, I manage to create a drink that will make Miu have the worst week ever! _

 

_ Wait, Wait, Wait. Kiibo actually agreed to help you? – Maki _

 

_ Yes, he did. - Kokichi _

 

_ I don’t know what type of prank that doesn’t bother the most disciplined person in our class, let alone help you with the said prank. – Maki _

 

_ You’d be surprised Maki-Roll. Things are about to get awesome! – Kokichi _

 

* * *

**_December 05_ **

_ Miu is absent today, which means my plan worked. Anyways I won’t be seeing her till the seventh so enough of that. Anyways Kaede decided to call for a meeting today and she wanted to announce to everyone on what NOT to bring on the Christmas party. I don’t know why, but the list keeps getting longer. At first, we’re not allowed to bring strawberry flavored condoms, and then we’re not allowed to bring regular condoms. Seriously that girl needs to let loose for a while. _

 

_ She also didn’t want any pets like cats on school so I agree with you – Hoshi _

 

_ She also doesn’t want skimpy Christmas outfits – Tsumugi _

 

_ And Card games – Shuuichi _

 

_ And Beer – Kaito _

 

_ OH WHAT!!!!! – Kokichi _

 

_ NO WAIT, WHAT?! – Tenko _

 

_ THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE – Korekiyo _

 

_ What’s beer? – Himiko _

 

_ ATUA DOES NOT APPROVE – Angie _

 

_ Wait, you guys gave me an entire bowl of lemonade while you guys got this anti-magic lemonade. Is that what you call ‘Beer’? – Himiko _

 

_ GONTA NEEDS NECTAR – Gonta _

 

_ WHAT ARE WE CHILDREN?! – Hoshi _

 

_ Sorry guys. But rules are rules! I barely drank it and I don’t want to get drunk! – Kaede _

 

_ WHY NOT?! – Shuuichi _

 

_ I rather not tell. – Kaede _

 

* * *

**_December 06_ **

_ After that stupid announcement yesterday, today has just been us trying to persuade Kaede to let us have beers. Surprisingly Rantaro doesn’t even bother and volunteers to shop with Kaede for drinks. _

 

_ I got this guys – Rantaro _

 

_ WE HAVE OUR TRUST IN YOU! – Shuuichi _

 

* * *

**_December 07_ **

_ KOKICHI BRING IT BACK – Miu _

 

_ Today Rantaro created a private group chat with all of us except Kaede and Miu, his plan is to mix the alcohol with the fruit juice. It’s risky for Himiko drinking it but she still doesn’t understand what beer is. Such a pure girl. _

 

_ KOKICHI I SWEAR TO ATUA. GIVE ME THE ANTIDOTE – Miu _

 

_ Also today, me and Gonta decided to help Miss Chisa with the papers today, when we opened the door we saw none other than Juzo Sakakura, mister tough guy, mister punches people who he likes, staring lovingly at a picture on one of our teachers Munakata sensei. I know gayness when I see one. – Kokichi _

 

_ KOKICHI OUMA – Miu _

 

_ Kaede banned beers on the Christmas Party Miu. Your flat boobs are the LEAST of my worries – Kokichi _

 

_ OH FUCK?! SHIT WE GOTTA FIND A WAY TO GET BEERS ON OUR PARTY! _

  
  


* * *

**_December 08_ **

_ I don’t care what Kirumi thinks, riding a tricycle in the park isn’t considered weird. I’ve been riding this bad boy for three years now and I always get the attention of the ladies. How could they not resist? My wheels are painted red like fire, my helmet has a picture of a tiger in fire and my shades have fire streaks on the side! _

 

* * *

**_December 09_ **

_ Shuuichi sighting #4 _

_ Words cannot express how much I was happy when Kaede scolds Shuuichi and tells him he was immature. He’s not immature for reconsidering her demands, but damn this is the first time I’ve seen them fight and it brings me joy to my eyes! _

 

_ We’re not fighting Kokichi, do you want a beer or not? – Shuuichi _

 

_ I want a beer. And I want the two of you to stop making out before you go home – Kokichi _

 

_ It was Kaede’s idea. It’s….her way of relieving stress – Shuuichi _

 

_ Atua fucking Satan go get a room – Tsumugi _

 

_ Oh yeah. I brought Tsumugi with me cause she was bored – Kokichi _

 

* * *

**_December 10_ **

_ Himiko was crying today, and by my programming as well as Hoshi and Kiibo’s we decided to attack the pursuers. _

 

_ You’re not a robot – Kiibo _

 

_ Apparently, Himiko showed a magic show to some children and some teenagers insulted her for being small and for believing in magic. Hoshi and I teamed up to give them a lesson, you see in my DICE organization I have these glue bombs that when tossed to an enemy it explodes and makes them stick to the ground for eight hours. So with Hoshi’s perfect accuracy, we hit every single person that made our Himiko cry. Also, that’s not the worst part. _

 

_ Having Kiibo give them a lesson on bad manners and appreciating other people’s talents was pure torture indeed – Hoshi _

 

_ Such a genius! - Kokichi _

 

* * *

**_December 11_ **

 

_ Miu hasn’t asked me for the antidote of her flat chest. It’s actually kind of weird not to crash my face on Miu’s gigantic badonkahonkadonks for a week now. There’s always one time in a week where I accidentally collide with Miu but none of us get hurt cause Miu’s chest provides safety pillows. _

_ Now it just ends with Miu groaning in pain and I’m holding my head in pain because I hit my head on an iron wall. _

 

* * *

**_December 12_ **

 

_ I think we traumatized our substitute teacher today. You see Maki has this trigger warning that when someone says “Byurning Yorphanage” just remove the Y’s there and Maki immediately leaps and points a knife on the person’s neck along with her deadly eyes. So the substitute makes a joke about it and oh how the table of Maki just flew away as her inhumane speed reached our substitute teacher and made him pee his pants. _

_ I don’t know about you Diary, but I was laughing the entire day. _

 

* * *

**_December 13_ **

_ Angie asked me what I think of her art on Gonta. I don’t know what she’s trying to do but there is no way Gonta has a butt of an iron ingot. Beast man got an ass for days and it’s like I want to plant a flag on that ass. _

 

_ Oh, Atua stop! – Kaito _

 

_ Nah, Kaito. I’d like to put a geostationary satellite in ORBIT around dat ass! – Kokichi _

_ Seriously, STOP! – Kaito _

 

_ Come on man. You telling me you wouldn’t want to outfit a colony ship and begin a terraformation process on top of that ass? You crazy. – Kokichi _

 

_ I don’t even know what that means! – Kaito _

 

_ Make the ass rounder. Angie gets it! – Angie _

 

* * *

**_December 14_ **

_ Kaede has gathered us all for secret Santa. And today everyone one of us are participating, not just the main characters Kaede, Shuuichi, Kaito, Maki, and Kiibo. So, we all grabbed a name from the box and none of us told who we get. _

 

_ I got Rantaro and BOY OH BOY Do I got a present for that sneaky, backstabbing, manipulative, best ass boi, evil, and collectively smart son of a bitch. _

 

_ Wait what did you say? – Rantaro _

 

_ What? – Kokichi _

 

_ You said I have the ‘Best Ass’? – Rantaro _

 

_ No. – Kokichi _

 

_ It’s okay if you think that. – Rantaro _

 

_ I don’t. – Kokichi _

 

* * *

**_December 15_ **

_ Surprisingly Kaede and I went on a date. _

 

_ GASP – Tsumugi _

 

_ Don’t get your panties tightened Tsums. We are on a task on finding a Christmas tree cause last year’s died down. Also, we ran into Korekiyo today and the three of us searched for some Christmas trees. - Kokichi _

 

_ It’s weird that we ran into Komaeda senpai – Kaede _

 

_ He was looking at us weird though? – Kokichi _

 

_ That’s because I had a fight with him – Korekiyo _

 

_ Wait, what? Why?! – Kaede _

 

_ He and I see things differently. I do not tolerate a man without culture. – Korekiyo _

 

_ GASP – Tsumugi _

 

_ What? – Kokichi _

 

_ OH SORRY, Kokichi! I thought I was writing in Himiko’s diary, not yours. My bad! – Tsumugi _

 

* * *

**_December 16_ **

 

_ As an early preparation for Christmas. Me and flat tits (Miu) joined Kirumom on giving peace presents to the other classes. Makoto senpai and Sayaka senpai were so nice in accepting their gifts which were a bunch of beanies, matching beanies to be exact. Hinata senpai tried to accept our gifts of mittens but Komaeda senpai kicks us out. _

 

_ I’ll have a talk with Korekiyo later – Kirumi _

 

_ What makes us happy though is that Makoto-senpai’s class gave us a bunch of sweaters! While Hinata-senpai’s class gives us a really big present that has a tag “Open at Christmas” And I’m already excited about it! _

 

* * *

**_December 17_ **

 

_ Me and Kaito got paired up for a project and surprise we finished our project in less than four hours. So we decided to watch a bunch of memes, and I have to say me and Kaito have gotten along by watching youtube memes together. Who knew it had that much of power over us. _

_ Still though that doesn’t excuse for me putting a skunk in his room. The guy deserves it for being stupid hehehehe. _

 

* * *

**_December 18_ **

 

_ TODAY I SAW SOMETHING. BITCH. TSUMUGI COME TO ME! _

 

_ What is it? – Tsumugi _

 

_ I saw Rantaro and Kirumi at a coffee shop together! They were chatting and laughing and OH MY GOD YOU RUSHED HERE WHERE I’M HIDING IN THIS BUSH?! – Kokichi _

 

_ I’ve detected shipping aura. – Tsumugi _

 

_ When do you think these guys are going to make it official?! Or are they official? Are they gonna make-out? I’m totally calling Rantaro Daddy tomorrow! – Kokichi _

 

_ I don’t know yet but aofialfnaflaa;fafda – Tsumugi _

 

_ Ladainqwoq  RED ALERT THEY ARE HOLDING HANDS, THEY ARE HOLDING HANDS IN  _

_ FRONT OF SOME GUY! THIS IS NOT A DRILL – Kokichi _

 

_ Oh my Atua! They are fucking! They are fucking and I just know it! – Tsumugi _

 

* * *

**_December 19_ **

 

_ MORE NEWS MORE NEWS! Kaede is absent today! _

 

_ That never happens – Kiibo _

 

_ Shuuichi already went to check up on her along with Tsumugi but what’s even more shocking is that Tenko came in wearing a Wendy’s Burgers cosplay! I already took so many pictures  _

 

_ Nishishishi! – Kokichi _

 

_ Tenko needs money for her present – Tenko _

 

_ OH dayuM! Who is the lucky peasant? – Kokichi _

 

_ You – Tenko _

 

_ Wait, what? – Kokichi _

 

_ Tenko can’t wait to embarrass you at the Christmas party. – Tenko _

 

_ Umm Did Kokichi just dropped his diary and started running and crying – Himiko _

 

_ I think he did. Oh he actually did it - Hoshi _

 

_ Weirdo. – Tenko _

 

* * *

**_December 20_ **

 

_ Sorry that I was absent yesterday everybody. I had a severe cold and I couldn’t even walk. – Kaede _

 

_ It’s a good thing I was there Kaede. – Shuuichi _

 

_ Well, my parents are there so I was fine. But I appreciate the thought Shuuichi – Kaede _

 

_ That’s what boyfriends do. – Shuuichi _

 

_ Listen. I know you two tried to keep it in your pants and released all of it here since yesterday you two couldn’t kiss cause the parents and the me was there. But this is a respectable public forum so KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS AND GET YOUR OWN DIARY! – Tsumugi _

 

_ Can I get my Diary back? – Kokichi _

 

* * *

**_December 21_ **

 

_ Everyone, except Kiibo cause he’s charging at home, has helped with the decorations for this Christmas party. Hoshie and Angie made ‘snow’ versions of us. I didn’t know Hoshi enjoys playing with Angie but everyone weirdo has their own partner I guess. _

 

_ Fuck you Kokichi – Hoshi _

 

_ Atua condemns you Kokichi. – Angie _

 

_ I’ve finished compiling all the presents. It was hard lifting the big present though - Shuuichi _

 

_ I’m gonna go and take a peek! – Tsumugi _

 

_ DON’T – Kaede _

 

_ OH MY GOD, IT’S A BOMB! – Tsumugi _

 

_ WHAT?! – Everyone. _

 

_ Gonta, Kaito, Rantaro, Korekiyo carry that dangerous thing outside! – Kaede _

 

_ What the fuck was that?! How did that degenerate luckster sneak a bomb into school?! – Tenko _

 

* * *

**_December 22_ **

 

_ Korekiyo and Kaito told everyone that they dumped it at the trash which means we’re safe. Anyways all of us wore our costumes, the girls wore cute Santa costumes while the boys in their elf costumes, I gotta admit Himiko looks good in that hat. _

 

_ Ship? – Tsumugi _

 

_ I’m kicking you out of my diary privileges – Kokichi _

 

_ You can’t stop me! – Tsumugi _

 

* * *

**_December 23_ **

 

_ Today was the day of the feast. Miu and Kiibo shared a pie and it was really cute, Angie accidentally walked into a missile toe and had to kiss Himiko, needless to say, Tenko is crying right now. _

 

_ TENKO WILL STUMBLE ON TO HIMIKO NEXT TIME! – Tenko _

 

_ I would like to point out that I was the one that placed the missile toe, it made some very ridiculous pairings like for example Rantaro and Tsumugi! – Kokichi _

 

_ My cheeks hurt like hell – Rantaro _

 

_ But were her lips soft? – Kokichi _

 

_ Yes. But it’s not worth it – Rantaro _

 

_ There’s also the combination of Kaito and Korekiyo. I don’t know why but Kaito always ends up in the wrong situation. – Kokichi _

 

_ CAN I JUST HAVE A NORMAL CHRISTMAS PARTY?! – Kaito _

 

_ There’s a normal Christmas party – Kirumi _

 

_ OH OH! Kaede walked on the missile toe with Hoshi, GOLDEN MOMENT! – Kokichi _

 

_ Oh, shut up pleb. – Hoshi _

 

_ P-PLEB?! – Kokichi _

 

* * *

**_December 24_ **

 

_ Everyone gathered at Tenko’s house for the gift giving which is scheduled for tonight. Anyways, the party was amazing because Rantaro fulfilled his promise on mixing the beer with the punch and now everyone feels the kick and we found out why Kaede doesn’t want to get drunk. _

 

_ Two Words: Crazy Bitch – Miu _

 

_ YES! Kaede is now topless with only her bra on about to go to a wrestling match with a drunken Gonta. Maki has been laughing non-stop to my jokes, Tenko is pampering a sleeping Himiko with kisses, Kiibo brought back the giant present, Rantaro is sober again, and Kirumi is rambling her problems to an unconscious Miu. _

 

* * *

**_December 25_ **

 

_ Turns out, I didn’t know what I was saying in the last entry so Kiibo brought back the bomb to which he didn’t know, back to the Christmas tree which exploded and waked us all up with a terrible hangover and all of our presents, food, stuff, and happiness just banished. I have now dubbed Kiibo as “The Grinch” _

 

* * *

**_December 26_ **

_ Nobody was happy today. I have a feeling that all my classmates are going to vent their frustrations to Kiibo tomorrow so I’m going to leave it blank as I place it in the middle of the street. I know it seems irresponsible to just put my diary in some random spot but it always lands in the hands of my classmates somehow. _

 

* * *

**_December 27_ **

 

* * *

**_December 28_ **

 

_ Wow, I thought there would be an apocalypse of hateful comments yesterday but I guess everyone was busy writing in their own death notes on how to dismantle the robot. Today has been a glorious day, everyone now sees how dangerous Kiibo is. _

 

* * *

**_December 29_ **

 

_ I hate you. But I love you. But I hate you – Tsumugi _

 

_ You blew up Tenko’s house. Big deal, you’re still cool Keebs don’t worry – Rantaro _

 

_ You made me experience the worst Christmas ever. But I can never hate you for that – Shuuichi _

 

_ This just makes me wanna die, but I remember the times you helped me so all is forgiven – Hoshi _

 

_ I’m not mad. I’m mad at everyone ESPECIALLY Rantaro for spiking the drinks – Kaede _

 

_ It’s cool bro. Kokichi has done much worse – Kaito _

 

_ Gonta forgives you! Gonta could never hate you – Gonta _

 

_ Tenko doesn’t hate you. Tenko believes you are the most tolerable male. – Tenko _

 

_ If I can have enough mana to change what you did I’d do it so you won’t feel bad anymore – Himiko _

 

_ I’m used to it – Kirumi _

 

_ Do not fret Kiibo. Our bond is stronger than this, you best not to worry - Korekiyo _

 

_ Hey, at least you didn’t kill us, right? – Maki _

 

_ Atua once said “Forgive your friends and enemies” and you are an important friend Kiibo so it’s okay! We still love you – Angie _

 

_ Bitch I could never hate my boyfriend – Miu _

 

_ You’re dating?! – Tsumugi _

 

_ Keep your panties on Bitchmugi – Miu _

 

_ I….I love you guys….thank you for being so considerate – Kiibo _

 

_ OH COME ON – Kokichi _

 

* * *

**_December 30_ **

 

_ Rantaro sent me a video of me swimming in the pool wearing nothing but a diaper. And thus our rivalry continues, now if you’ll excuse me. Me and Rantaro are off to buy some wigs because we did the same prank with each other. _

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know in the comments on some ideas or ship teases you wanted me to do. I'd appreciate a little feedback. See you on the next update!

**Author's Note:**

> As always comments and kudos are deeply appreciated!!


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